When You Put It In The Freezer.

NBC is currently airing a reality TV show called "My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad." It involves dads and their kids competing against other dads and their kids in a variety of arbitrary and stupid events: the dad climbs in a tree and throws eggs into a basket held by the kid; the kid acts as a human dart that the dad throw at a target; the dad answers a series of questions after the kid "buzzes in," confident that dad knows the answer. This show, along with most everything else on network television (full disclosure - I watch it all anyways), is terrible. The premise is stupid, and the show is boring. Nonetheless, as a dad-to-be, I'm suddenly compelled to watch, and cannot get past what poor judgment these dads have exercised in participating. If I was the age that the kids on this show are (7-10, I guess), I'm sure I'd be desperate to be on the show. I would have begged my dad to let us go on it. And I'm happy to say that my dad would have looked at me as if I was retarded (he may have actually given me this look when I asked if we could go on "Family Double Dare" many years ago). That's good judgment. If, 7-10 years from now, my kid asks me to go on "My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad," I hope I can give him/her that same look.

Why so down on the show? It truly makes me uncomfortable to think that these dads, presumably heroes in the eyes of their impressionable young children, have chosen to put their kids' admiration into play by seeing who can pick the most scorpions off a conveyor belt. At one point on the episode I watched the other night, the dads were in a jeopardy-style question format that required two correct answers before advancing to the next round. The questions asked were multiple choice, and not hard. Nonetheless, one of the dads went down in flames. I mean, it was a Hindenburg-esque disaster. First, he blew a question that asked what "dry ice was" - instead of carbon dioxide, he guessed "hydrochloric acid." Yikes. Then when asked "at what point does water freeze?", the dad, from four possible answers, picked "zero degrees Fahrenheit." At that moment, you saw every once of joy and excitement drain from his young son's face. And when informed that he got the question wrong, the dad looked totally broken. I mean he should have looked broken in light of his inability to answer 4th-grade science questions, but nonetheless it was really sad! Then the dad and the son got the boot from the show! If you're that dad, how can you possibly look your boy in the eye? How can you tell your son to study when you've gone on national television and admitted that YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN WATER FREEZES!!! You're totally neutered as a parent. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation, but I'm pretty sure I'd have to put my kid up for adoption. There would really be no other reasonable or logical solution. See what I'm saying? "My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad" is bad news.**

So, to The Baby Vohra, though I doubt I'll let you read these posts when you're at the age at which "My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad" is appealing, there is no way that we're going on that show. Suck it up kiddo.

Love, your dad.

**Of course, I know the answer to simple questions such as "at what point does water freeze"? That's not my point.