Fortunately, The Gun Was Not Loaded...

Yesterday Neha and I went to "Babies R Us" to begin registering for baby stuff. We were excited - the registration process is the same as when you get married; you get a gun and just "shoot" everything in the store you want. Our excitement ended immediately after we entered the store. I'm not sure if we can handle actually having a baby, because just attempting to register was the most overwhelming and frustrating thing I've ever experienced. Babies R Us gave us a list of 10 million things we need to buy before The Baby Vohra is born, and told us that failure to purchase everything on the list renders us bad parents. That's a lot of pressure.

Trying to break the list down into manageable elements, we decided to start simple and pick out a baby monitor, the selection of which could not possibly cause disagreement.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That's the dumbest thing I've ever written.

For those of you who have not shopped for baby monitors, there are a lot of them. Naturally, I gravitated towards a technologically advanced and sophisticated version, with a 5" LCD monitor and infra-red technology, which will allow us to watch The Baby Vohra even as it sleeps. Have you ever heard of anything so awesome? Neither had I.

Neha, on the other hand, wanted to buy a crappy baby monitor, without video, that I believe needed to be cranked in order to generate the electricity necessary to make it work. Neha's monitor of choice may not have even had audio. I think the "monitor" Neha wanted was actually a pack of diapers.

I rationally tried to explain to Neha the importance of being able to see and hear our child at all times, but she wasn't having it. Instead, she was all "you just want to buy it because it's expensive and you didn't do any research at all and you are just lazy and the package of diapers makes a more effective baby monitor!" Then Neha threw a Diaper Genie II(tm) at me. It was, in my opinion, a totally inappropriate escalation of aggression.

Fortunately Neha's lapse of reason was short lived, and she regained her composure just before attacking me with a Gerber Nipple Brush. That would have been bad. We decided to hold off on doing any more registering until we've had an opportunity to read up on the various available products and online reviews, make some informed decisions, and then hire someone else to do the actual registering for us. Ha ha! Just kidding! We can't afford to hire someone to do the actual registering for us.

Regardless of the frustration, our first attempt at registering was a good experience. I mean, actually raising The Baby Vohra can't be any harder than the registration process, right?

Even if it is, I'll have my sweet infra-red technology baby monitor to guide me through the process...